Saturday, March 26, 2011
Pantsless Mexicanery...
I really want some taco bell but that would directly interfere with my plan to not wear pants today.
Sunday, March 20, 2011
thinking:
I need to stop @ replying Wil Wheaton and Kunal Nayyar on twitter. Famous people in general. It's creepy as shit. Am I a creep? F. I'm a total creep.
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Thursday, January 27, 2011
this doesn't even make sense.
Lately I have trouble sleeping at night. At first I thought it was because the vent blasted heat into the room at the same time every day (around 4:00 am), pouring heat into every corner and forcing me out of my slumber because I thought I was baking alive.
But then I shut the vent.
And once I did I slept through the night for the first time in weeks. It was wonderful. But now I am having the problems again. Problems falling asleep. Problems staying asleep. Problems where I wake up anxious that I am going to oversleep only to realize that it's 1:00 am...and then continue to do so at 15-45 minute intervals for the rest of the night.
Now, my dad has had nightmares consistently since he came home from Iraq. He doesn't sleep for very long, maybe 3-5 hour stretches. Every night he ambles into the kitchen, pours himself a half glass of milk, drains it, sets the empty glass in the sink (without rinsing it, of course), and then heads to bed. I asked him once why he did it and he told me that the proteins in the milk help you sleep. He said it was his equivalent to a glass of warm milk....he was just saving time and energy by drinking it cold. He said it helped him fall asleep when the anxiety started to kick in. When I started having trouble sleeping at night, I thought of him and his standard glass of milk before bed and decided to give it a try.
I don't know if it's helping me sleep any (I'm still awake, aren't I?). It is making me homesick, though. I miss my family.
But then I shut the vent.
And once I did I slept through the night for the first time in weeks. It was wonderful. But now I am having the problems again. Problems falling asleep. Problems staying asleep. Problems where I wake up anxious that I am going to oversleep only to realize that it's 1:00 am...and then continue to do so at 15-45 minute intervals for the rest of the night.
Now, my dad has had nightmares consistently since he came home from Iraq. He doesn't sleep for very long, maybe 3-5 hour stretches. Every night he ambles into the kitchen, pours himself a half glass of milk, drains it, sets the empty glass in the sink (without rinsing it, of course), and then heads to bed. I asked him once why he did it and he told me that the proteins in the milk help you sleep. He said it was his equivalent to a glass of warm milk....he was just saving time and energy by drinking it cold. He said it helped him fall asleep when the anxiety started to kick in. When I started having trouble sleeping at night, I thought of him and his standard glass of milk before bed and decided to give it a try.
I don't know if it's helping me sleep any (I'm still awake, aren't I?). It is making me homesick, though. I miss my family.
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
You know that thing where I am a little bit (extremely) ridiculous?
Yeah. It happened real bad today.
Perhaps I should explain.
You know that thing that happens once a month where my uterus sheds it's lining and I go apeshit in the process? That is happening right now. For the most part the only side effect I've been experiencing is an incessant urge to eat everything in my path that might be edible/have a flavor, which has been a nightmare in and of itself...I've gained 5 lbs in 3 days because I can't stop eating! Today, however, the irrational rage showed up and about 2/3 of my way through my work day I became so simultaneously thirsty and angry I genuinely thought I was going to chug a glass of water and then smash the glass into a wall. I deliberately did NOT get a glass of water because I was so unnerved by the desire. I did a pretty okay job of keeping it together, and even managed to make plans to go the the movies with Marisa in between battling the urge to put my fist through my computer screen and being moderately productive.
To ensure that I'd make it safely through the rest of the night, I decided to take a post-work pre-movies nap. This is where everything went wrong. I fell asleep before I could remember to turn my phone off silent....so I didn't get any alerts/messages. Like the ones Marisa sent me asking if I were still one of the living. So yeah, I did not wake up until around 6:45pm which was too late to make it to my favorite theatre where we were going to see Gulliver's Travels (finally).
So, how am I coping with it all? I am about to go drown my sorrows in Mexican food. Fuck you, hormones.
Monday, January 17, 2011
Friday, November 26, 2010
fucking mice.
I am, like, really bad at this.
Anyway.
I flew to Missouri for Thanksgiving. While there, Liz and Zeb found a nest of "infant" mice underneath this Korean Hutch we've had for a hundred thousand years. They saved them: pink, blind, hairless, squeaking, and squirming, in a glad bowl for me to take care of when my mom and I returned from grocery shopping.
So, what did I get stuck with doing? Dumping the bowl of infant mice, that Zeb was so proud of saving, out in the front yard. And when I close my eyes I can still picture them squirming as they tumbled out of the bowl onto the cold wet ground. I hope they didn't take too long to die. I sat in my room cringing at the thought of what I had done.
Anyway.
I flew to Missouri for Thanksgiving. While there, Liz and Zeb found a nest of "infant" mice underneath this Korean Hutch we've had for a hundred thousand years. They saved them: pink, blind, hairless, squeaking, and squirming, in a glad bowl for me to take care of when my mom and I returned from grocery shopping.
So, what did I get stuck with doing? Dumping the bowl of infant mice, that Zeb was so proud of saving, out in the front yard. And when I close my eyes I can still picture them squirming as they tumbled out of the bowl onto the cold wet ground. I hope they didn't take too long to die. I sat in my room cringing at the thought of what I had done.
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Why my sister needs an Xbox....
"cause black ops, fable 3 and rock band 3 are all coming out and I can't fucking take it anymore."
-Samantha
Monday, November 1, 2010
a poem: but not by me
It’s good to feel you are close to me in the night, love,
invisible in your sleep, intently nocturnal,
while I untangle my worries
as if they were twisted nets.
Withdrawn, your heart sails through dream,
but your body, relinquished so, breathes
seeking me without seeing me perfecting my dream
like a plant that seeds itself in the dark.
Rising, you will be that other, alive in the dawn,
but from the frontiers lost in the night,
from the presence and the absence where we meet ourselves,
something remains, drawing us into the light of life
as if the sign of the shadows had sealed
its secret creatures with flame.
-Pablo Neruda
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Thinking: The Relationship Edition
I think I have an inappropriate relationship with my laptop. I went to sleep with it at the foot of my bed and woke up four hours later with it between my knees. Sexy.
Sunday, October 24, 2010
If my face itches am I going to die?
This is the part of my blog where I am going to talk about shit that gives me low self-esteem and how I try to combat it.
In high school I was fat, awkward, and had braces. My saving grace was clear skin. I might have a slight, tiny zit every now and then, but nothing compared to the painful blemishes a lot of my friends were dealing with. That, apparently, was not to last. The past few years have been complete hell on my skin. I've tried every different over the counter product I can get my hands on, with little or no results.
Once I got comfortable enough here to open up and lament my fate to my co-workers/roommates/friends, Micah mentioned that I should try this stuff his mom got for him when he was hiking the AT (Appalachian Trail). In the spirit of nothing left to lose, I gave it the ole college try. It's a four hour spot treatment for zits you already have. I used it and had pretty positive results, but it wasn't PREVENTING the outbreaks which is ultimately what I was working toward. I decided to try to find a face wash that had the same active ingredient the spot treatment had in it, and Marisa suggested I try the face wash she uses, which contained benzoyl peroxide, the ingredient in question.
I purchased a bottle, brought it home, and immediately began to use it that night, on the same schedule I used my previous face wash: twice a day, once in the morning, once before bed. The following afternoon, after two washes, my face was rough and itchy. Like....clawing my face off itchy. Like message everyone I know to ask if I my itchy face might result in my death itchy. By the second night, the third time I was washing my face with it, my skin burned when I applied it. I consulted Dr. Wikipedia and learned that a few of the less common side effects of it are itching, burning, swelling, and sensitivity. I read on to see if there was any risk of my face peeling off. I could not discover any concrete evidence pointing toward total facial destruction, but I decided to cut down to using it once a day until my skin develops a tolerance for the benzoyl peroxide. You know, just in case.
My face itches less now, but it's still red and rough right under my eyes. I feel like that will fade. The best news, however, is that my skin has cleared up CONSIDERABLY. Like, I don't have massive exploding zits on my face, and this is the time of the month for them IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
So, this is a picture of me and my much clearer skin (and my incredibly silly hair).
Yeah. That's what's up.
In high school I was fat, awkward, and had braces. My saving grace was clear skin. I might have a slight, tiny zit every now and then, but nothing compared to the painful blemishes a lot of my friends were dealing with. That, apparently, was not to last. The past few years have been complete hell on my skin. I've tried every different over the counter product I can get my hands on, with little or no results.
Once I got comfortable enough here to open up and lament my fate to my co-workers/roommates/friends, Micah mentioned that I should try this stuff his mom got for him when he was hiking the AT (Appalachian Trail). In the spirit of nothing left to lose, I gave it the ole college try. It's a four hour spot treatment for zits you already have. I used it and had pretty positive results, but it wasn't PREVENTING the outbreaks which is ultimately what I was working toward. I decided to try to find a face wash that had the same active ingredient the spot treatment had in it, and Marisa suggested I try the face wash she uses, which contained benzoyl peroxide, the ingredient in question.
I purchased a bottle, brought it home, and immediately began to use it that night, on the same schedule I used my previous face wash: twice a day, once in the morning, once before bed. The following afternoon, after two washes, my face was rough and itchy. Like....clawing my face off itchy. Like message everyone I know to ask if I my itchy face might result in my death itchy. By the second night, the third time I was washing my face with it, my skin burned when I applied it. I consulted Dr. Wikipedia and learned that a few of the less common side effects of it are itching, burning, swelling, and sensitivity. I read on to see if there was any risk of my face peeling off. I could not discover any concrete evidence pointing toward total facial destruction, but I decided to cut down to using it once a day until my skin develops a tolerance for the benzoyl peroxide. You know, just in case.
My face itches less now, but it's still red and rough right under my eyes. I feel like that will fade. The best news, however, is that my skin has cleared up CONSIDERABLY. Like, I don't have massive exploding zits on my face, and this is the time of the month for them IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
So, this is a picture of me and my much clearer skin (and my incredibly silly hair).
Yeah. That's what's up.
Saturday, October 23, 2010
Bekah and I made a pact the other day to start blogging more regularly. It's not so much that I think I am a profound or prolific writer. I don't have a message I need to get out there. I just need to talk. I need to vent. And the Lord knows I need to share waaaaaaaaaaay TMI on a regular basis, and I find that the internet really facilitates that exchange. So, with that said, I am going to start trying to blog twice a week.
Bekah was talking about the future in her entry from last night, and I think that is a pretty good jumping off point. I am not sure what the WHOLE future holds for me, but I know what I want from the immediate future. I want to make this work here. I want to get healthy, and it IS doable. I want to be the best friend and co worker I can be. And, I want to spend more time working with the horses because I am kind of obsessed with them. I mean, how can you not love this face?
Exactly.
That reminds me, I want to try to feature more pictures. Which means I need to learn more about my camera so I can take the best pictures possible. (I feel like I've written these exact words before.)
On that note, I am going to take a nap. We had a group of military kids in today to do horseback riding, wall climbing, a hike, and then pumpkin carving/decorating. Yeah, I am EXHAUSTED. And I love every second of it.
Sunday, October 10, 2010
No Hands Maryland
I am debating whether or not to go into a big spiel about where I've been/what I'm doing now etc, but I really can't be asked to delve into an explanation of my whereabouts in regards to The Ole Mirblog for the past three months. And that's okay, because I'm grown and this is my blog and I CAN DO WHAT I WANT. So, what I want to do is tell you a story.
"No Hands Maryland" is a law that went into effect at the beginning of this month. It basically states that you may not use any handheld device (cellphone, gps, ipod etc) while driving. The day it went into effect, Micah and I were driving through Charles County and saw a police office make a turn while talking on his cell phone. Yeah, this law is clearly being strictly enforced. To serve and protect and lead by example, right?
Friday after work I had to run to town for some odds and ends and asked Micah if he wanted to come with me. We took my car because I never drive anywhere and thought she might enjoy the trip. As soon as we got to town, we stopped at a red light and I took this time to pick up my BlackBerry to see if I had any messages etc. Suddenly, to my left, I heard the familiar BWOOP BWOOP of a siren. I threw my phone into my cup-holder, snapped my head up, and looked to the left. There was a sheriff's deputy waiting next to me at the light. He threw his hands up, shook his head at me, and mouthed "You can't do that!" I threw my hands up sheepishly, said "I know! I'm sorry!" out loud and then he and Micah both burst out laughing while my face turned bright red and I wished for death. Then the light turned green, both vehicles made left turns, and the sheriff's deputy sped off to scare the shit out of some other people.
Once I calmed down I said, "Man. My car is not conducive to stealth activity." Seriously, though. You can't do any kind of sneaky shit in a hazard orange car. Just saying.
I'm back, bitches!
"No Hands Maryland" is a law that went into effect at the beginning of this month. It basically states that you may not use any handheld device (cellphone, gps, ipod etc) while driving. The day it went into effect, Micah and I were driving through Charles County and saw a police office make a turn while talking on his cell phone. Yeah, this law is clearly being strictly enforced. To serve and protect and lead by example, right?
Friday after work I had to run to town for some odds and ends and asked Micah if he wanted to come with me. We took my car because I never drive anywhere and thought she might enjoy the trip. As soon as we got to town, we stopped at a red light and I took this time to pick up my BlackBerry to see if I had any messages etc. Suddenly, to my left, I heard the familiar BWOOP BWOOP of a siren. I threw my phone into my cup-holder, snapped my head up, and looked to the left. There was a sheriff's deputy waiting next to me at the light. He threw his hands up, shook his head at me, and mouthed "You can't do that!" I threw my hands up sheepishly, said "I know! I'm sorry!" out loud and then he and Micah both burst out laughing while my face turned bright red and I wished for death. Then the light turned green, both vehicles made left turns, and the sheriff's deputy sped off to scare the shit out of some other people.
Once I calmed down I said, "Man. My car is not conducive to stealth activity." Seriously, though. You can't do any kind of sneaky shit in a hazard orange car. Just saying.
I'm back, bitches!
Friday, July 9, 2010
Is this real life?
I busted my head on the backseat of a 15 passenger van trying to remove it from the aforementioned van. My head is still throbbing.This is about as good an example of the summer as I can give you.
Friday, June 4, 2010
See Amy Go.
Have I mentioned that camp is total chaos? It is, in the best possible way, and all the staff aren't even HERE YET!!!! Oh, and it's hot as shit.
In lieu of my own regular posts, they are going to be fewer and further between now because camp internet is questionable at best, I want to foward everyone to my dear friend Amy's blog. This chronicled her adventures as she backpacked through Europe and parts of the Middle East and NOW her adventures teaching English in Chile. She is quirky, smart, and very funny so I think her travels are worth checking out.
That is all. Carry on.
In lieu of my own regular posts, they are going to be fewer and further between now because camp internet is questionable at best, I want to foward everyone to my dear friend Amy's blog. This chronicled her adventures as she backpacked through Europe and parts of the Middle East and NOW her adventures teaching English in Chile. She is quirky, smart, and very funny so I think her travels are worth checking out.
That is all. Carry on.
Sunday, May 30, 2010
That's so Wonderful!
AUGH! I am back in my favorite place on the planet, CAMP GREENTOP! So, yeah, that's the reason for the CURRENT break in updates! I am going to try to be a little bit better (oh my god, how many times have I said that?) but, well, friends, here's the rub: internet sucks at camp. I can use it pretty easily on my phone, but it is a bitch to try to type an entire entry on my phone. It is doable, but I just don't know if I want to blog that bad(ly?).
Camp is INCREDIBLE! I already feel a billion times better now that I am here. We have been so busy for the last week...the time has just flown by! Between getting everything set up and cleaned, pickups, saying goodbye to staff from last year who can't come back for the summer, and Family Adventure Weekend it has been total chaos. (By the by, we managed to do all of that from Monday of last week and the last family just left from Family Adventure Weekend a little while ago TODAY, just to give you an idea of how efficient we have been at camp.) And yeah, I completely love every second of it!
So, I'll keep this one short since there is stuff to clean, emails to be sent, and bonding to occur, but I am pretty pumped to have the opportunity to do this again, and I am excited that you guys get to come with me!
Camp is INCREDIBLE! I already feel a billion times better now that I am here. We have been so busy for the last week...the time has just flown by! Between getting everything set up and cleaned, pickups, saying goodbye to staff from last year who can't come back for the summer, and Family Adventure Weekend it has been total chaos. (By the by, we managed to do all of that from Monday of last week and the last family just left from Family Adventure Weekend a little while ago TODAY, just to give you an idea of how efficient we have been at camp.) And yeah, I completely love every second of it!
So, I'll keep this one short since there is stuff to clean, emails to be sent, and bonding to occur, but I am pretty pumped to have the opportunity to do this again, and I am excited that you guys get to come with me!
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Monday, May 17, 2010
Sad but True.
me: I am emailing a pic to myself
so I can fwd it to you
I feel like I am excessive with the pics of the animals
sadie: hahaha naw
me: which email addy?
sadie: (removed)
me: enjoy
sadie: k
me: is your heart melted?
sadie: haha hold on
awwwwwww
me: I KNOW
hahah
sadie: adorbs
me: hahah
sadie: let me email you my little baby
me: okay!
sadie: god, kashmir
you realize normal girls email pictures back & forth of babies, right?
Friday, May 14, 2010
Hilarious responses to awkward statements:
me: I really want to make out
allisonni
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