Let me just start by saying, I have had a REALLY rough week. Not for any particular reason. I mean, there are people in my county whose houses burned down this week (I think three different families), so I could be any one of them complaining about my week, but I'm not. It is just my crazy all built up and brimming over.
I am trying to enjoy the season. I wasted fall, my favorite season in the history of seasons, hating everything. It's just really hard. My grandma always says you should just pretend you are happy, and then one day you will be. Mind over matter. I try. I really, really do, but because I have no actual plans for the future it's really hard to pretend to be happy now. The only thing I know for sure is that I will be here for the foreseeable future...and that breaks me.
I am still crocheting. Not with as much fervor as before, and not because I like it less, but because I am less driven to do anything. I don't really have the patience to concentrate on anything.
At least there is winter camp! I am super excited about that. And, afterwards when I spend a few days in PA with Danielle, we are thinking about taking a day trip to NYC. Matt and Jenny are supposed to be going, and David lives there, and I haven't see him in five years, so I will probably die of "OMFG IT'S YOU!"
I need a plan. I just need a plan that I can follow. I am good at following. I am not good at ideas, but if someone tells me what to do, I am pretty good at making it happen.
2 comments:
Go back to school or just keep looking for a job. I know it's hard, believe me... I take you on my, "i can't find a flipping job!" rants all of the effing time!! >_<
You know I'm going to school right now but it still sucks. I have externing coming up... how am i suppose to get to my externship if i dont have a car or gas money?? how will i graduate if i cant get to my externship? I. JUST. DONT. KNOW.
...and it sucks, it really really sucks!!!! :/
All we can do is: keep trying to find a job and sit back. Obviously we are in this muted spot for a reason. perhaps its leading to the coolest time of our lives??!!
Just keep your head held high :]
No one can plan for your life for you. You have to take your own time and make a list of short term and long term goals you want to accomplish and give yourself a certain amount of time to complete them. It will help to have some sort of blue print for your future.
It seems so reasonable on paper...make a plan, follow through. I don't know WHY I have so much trouble applying it in real life.
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